OK, so this blog posting is a story time about The Time When I Turned 30! So of course I’ve only turned 30 once, and yes, me turning 30 was only 6 months ago, BUT THERE’S A STORY THERE! Follow me!

Back Story: My birthday is my favorite day of the ENTIRE YEAR! To me, my birthday is a national holiday. Like legit, I think everybody deserves the day off work in observance of my birthday, but that’s just my personal opinion. (“Kanye Shrug”) I look forward to and countdown my birthday like the ball dropping in Times Square on New Years Eve! Y’all it’s serious! Like bring the lights, fireworks, AND confetti cause it’s my birthday!!!

Soooo, rewind to March 2017, I turned 29. My 29th birthday SUCKED! Yes, I was thankful to be alive, but the day was SO UNDERWHELMING! It was my first day of work at my new assignment, and I had to spend my day in an 8 hour computer training class, BY MYSELF, just me and the teacher. In that moment, I understood the meaning of the phrase “BORED TO DEATH”. You don’t know boredom until you’ve experienced that! In the basement with no cell service, continuously fighting the need to fall asleep because there was absolutely no one else there to deflect the attention off of me! Finally, 4 pm arrived and I was free to go home!!!

There were NO missed calls… NO unanswered text messages… NO plans made to celebrate the rest of my day… I WAS IN MY FEELINGS! Honestly, I was hurt more than anything. Everyone knows how much birthdays mean to me, PERIOD! Not just mine, EVERYBODY BIRTHDAY! I try to make everyone close to me feel special on their birthday. Yes, it’s another day, but also the celebration of another year of life! I felt like people forgot or just didn’t care about mine. (Probably isn’t true but I felt what I felt!). Needless to say, I got home, cried about it, and literally slept the rest of the day away. That year, I felt like my birthday was just another day. My birthday NEVER feels like any ordinary day to me.

The following week after my 29th birthday, I vowed that I’d never spend another birthday like that. I would make every birthday huge, even if I had to do it by myself. I mean, plus my next birthday was a big one! I WAS TURNING THE BIG 3-0! All of my friends, former classmates and social media friends were turning 30 and they were doing 30 big! Every time I’d see a posting, I’d think “Yaaaassss, see that’s how you’re supposed to celebrate your 30th!” Sooo, I started thinking of ways that I wanted to spend my 30th birthday!

Idea #1: I wanted to do a photoshoot with all of my sisters & besties! I thought it would be the most AMAZING thing ever!!! All of these beautiful black women coming together for this EPIC PHOTO-SHOOT! Plus, I’d never had all of my friends together all at once, so I figured my birthday was a great excuse to make it happen! I created a Facebook group about it, found a photographer, I was coming up with different photo and outfit ideas… It was going to be L-I-T!!! Yet, it never happened… Time and life didn’t permit it being feasible, so it was cancelled…

Idea #2: I wanted to take a trip…  I LOVE TO TRAVEL! I don’t care where it is, I’m down to go. You can tell me about a trip last minute and I would move all of life around and make a way to get me there! So, I started researching resorts, flights, cruises… ANYTHING! Well… Somehow over the years, my birthday has ended up being the week of spring break! The time where everybody and their mamas AND daddies want to take a vacation! Of course these businesses know this, so they jack up the prices ON EVERYTHING!!! OMG y’all, I tried tirelessly for weeks to come up with a plan and absolutely NOTHING was working out or making sense. Time was winding down, it was becoming last minute, and I refuse to do anything half-assed! (<—Sorry parents!)

So… picture it… fast forward… March 2018… I had been in Chicago (AGAIN!) for about 3 months (I was originally only supposed to be in Chicago for 3 weeks for the holidays). There was SO MUCH going on… I was always on the go, always working like a maniac, always involved or doing SOMETHING! I like never had any down time… It was getting to a point where I was literally drained, in every sense of the word! Physically, mentally, emotionally drained… I was giving out all of me until there was absolutely nothing left to give, not even to myself… By this time, still nothing had come together for my 30th birthday, and in that moment, I came up with the most amazing birthday idea of all…

Idea #3: Spend my 30th birthday alone… Y’all stay with me now… I’d tried everything in my power to get something together to spend my birthday with everyone that meant something to me… For whatever reasons, nothing was working out… I went internally and assessed everything and thought, “maybe it isn’t meant for me to spend my birthday with anyone”. I was looking for everyone else to celebrate me, with me. I decided to celebrate myself, by myself! As the days went by, the idea of spending my birthday alone became more and more appealing to me… So I started planning out this amazing week of time alone! First, I wanted to go back home to Dallas! Reason being because there was no one there. I had my apartment to myself, I had no friends in Dallas, no distractions, I wouldn’t allow anyone to plan a trip to come to Dallas with me, I told everyone that I wanted to be left alone. Second, I wanted to visit all of my doctors. Strange way to want to spend your birthday, but I figured, what better way to bring in my 30th than with a clean bill of health, right?! I researched and put together this BOMB TEAM of black doctors and I scheduled appointments with everybody! My primary doctor, my OB-GYN, my dentist, and ophthalmologist! I was getting checked from the crown of my head, to the soles of my feet! Third, I wanted to get back centered with me! I wanted quiet time with God. I wanted to spend my week in prayer, writing in my journals, reading books, watching sermons, reflecting on life, planning for my future, thinking of my next move, drinking wine, taking naps, listening to music, taking long baths, burning candles, RELAXING! Fourth, I was going to spoil me! I planned out a week of taking myself on dates. Breakfast, lunch and dinner dates, movie dates, shopping trips, whatever I wanted I was getting it… I literally wrote out a list in my journal of all that I wanted to do the week of my birthday. It was probably 20 things on that last… I WAS EXCITED!!! Then, the week of my birthday came…

I kicked off my birthday week in the absolute BEST WAY I could ever imagine! A road trip back to Dallas with my favorite road trip partner! My big sis Nisha! We have the BEST TIME EVER on our road trips! We literally sing the entire 12 hours or so back to Dallas. Everything from old school all the way up to present day! We left early Sunday morning, so we started the drive out with praise and worship! Our favorite gospel artist Jonathan McReynold’s had just released his latest album Make Room 3 days prior to the trip (I considered that album an early birthday gift to me), so it was the PERFECT time to learn all of the songs!

On the last leg of the drive, I started feeling a slight tickle in my throat while singing. Initially, I didn’t think much of it. By the time we made it to Dallas, I had a full blown sore throat! I couldn’t believe it. Literally, it came out of nowhere! First order of business when I made it back home, I went directly to the store AND BOUGHT THE WHOLE PHARMACY!!! I’m not even joking y’all. I had cough drops, cough syrup, NyQuil AND DayQuil, Mucinex, Vick’s, vitamins, Tylenol AND Motrin, and whatever else I thought would help. I was prepared! I got home, took a hot shower, ate dinner, doped myself up, rubbed myself down and went to bed! I was going to knock whatever it was out before it even got started!!!

I WOKE UP THE NEXT MORNING SICK AS ALL HELL!!! I couldn’t believe it! I woke up with the full blown flu! Throat still sore AND worse, runny nose AND congested, coughing, headache and the body aches felt like I’d been punched all over by Floyd Mayweather himself! I was down bad! I felt like doing absolutely nothing! By the end of the week I’d developed full blown pharyngitis, my voice was GONE, and my cough sounded like a Pterodactyl scream! It was all bad. My full list of things to do for the week was out the door! I wasn’t up for doing any of it. I was literally in bed the entire week! Not only was I in bed, I was asleep! I wasn’t answering any phone calls or text messages all week. I’d literally wake up long enough to eat something small so that I could take my next dose of medicine and back to sleep I went! Every 4 hours like clockwork! Y’all I could have cried! When everything first happened, I said to myself “This ain’t nothing but the devil!” once again, ruining all my plans. But then I sat and thought, “This ain’t nothing but God”. God knows me better than anyone! He also knows how much constant running and going I had been doing while I was in Chicago. I said that I wanted to relax, rest and be alone for the entire week, yet I made a list of things that would have kept me on the go in Dallas as well. I think God was like, “This child just won’t learn, so let me teach her right quick”. A lil’ sickness wasn’t going to kill me, but it definitely made me sit down. It definitely made me rest. It definitely made me take care of me for a change. The only thing I did do that week was keep my appointments with all of my doctors. Besides the flu, I was blessed to walk into my year of 30 with a clean bill of health.

The night before my birthday, my sister called me and gave me the best news of the week!!! Our favorite gospel artist, Jonathan McReynolds was going to be in Dallas and performing ON MY BIRTHDAY!!! Y’all, if I had a voice, I would have screamed! I couldn’t have asked for a better birthday present! I LOVE JONATHAN and his music! He is so talented and his gift is such a blessing! Needless to say, I was down for going regardless of how I felt! Purse full of tissues and cough drops on deck and we were in there! It was amazing! CD had only been out for 5 days, but no voice and all, I sang my heart out on every song! I was in a zone! And the best part of it all?!?! I GOT TO MEET JONATHAN AND TAKE A PICTURE WITH HIM!!! #BirthdayMade #MonthMade #YearMadeToo

So, by the end of the week I was starting to feel a little bit better. My best friend came into town to spend the weekend with me (she wasn’t taking no for an answer). Between taking naps because I would tire out so quickly, we actually got out and did a few things. Saturday night we went out for dinner at one of our favorite restaurants, Pappadeaux! Then while sitting there talking, my sister and niece pop up out of nowhere and surprised me! IT WAS A BIRTHDAY DINNER! I was happy, it was so sweet of them and more than anything, I greatly appreciated their efforts even after being adamant about nothing wanting anything or wanting to do anything. I HAD A BIRTHDAY CAKE AND EVERYTHING! All in all, my 30th turned out absolutely nothing like how I’d planned or envisioned, but I’m grateful to be able to say that I made it to see 30! It also taught me a lesson about making plans… At the end of the day, God still has the last say so!

Y’all see the crown?! They know!

Stay Loyal, Stay Royal!

XOXO

Freddie J.

Scriptures of the Week:

“Yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that”. —James 4:14-15

“Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand”.—Proverbs 19:21

Songs of the Week: You can click on the songs below and listen to them!

Jonathan McReynolds- Smile

Jonathan McReynolds- Not Lucky, I’m Loved

Tobe Nwigwe- Ten Toes

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